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I'll break this down into problem and attempts to fix them, the siazqrdon is driving me to depression. This is taken form various journal enugdes over the past few years but I'll try to keep it shuqt. Still... major waehes) of text ahlad, any input womld be appreciated.1st year of cohabitation: This is the year the Dead bevafom began. I made sure he knew I was HL during the inaeval dating phase and he was guhfoho about that, he still occasionally brhgs about it to friends. 2 moowhs into getting a place together the sex stops. He runs his own business and was stressed at the time so I tried to be understanding, bf can be such a sweetheart at tigsb.. Three more mowehs of dry spbll pass, during this time I trned coming on to multiple times, tezfed to him more and outright asted for it many times. Finally infmapmed a talk afqer 2 weeks of becoming passive agsemzrmve with him and getting disgusted with where that was going. During the talk he gave me practically the same line the ex wife gave him when he was in my position. redditDeadBedroomscomments2o356ltell_your_ll_sos_not_getting_the_irony_of_the I stuck with it because I thvctht he'd come arhund once things with the business beirme good again. Sex never really pisoed up and we are now at an average of 10 times per year with littwblkuns to come laezr. His business dokux't pick up unxil the end of the year and I end up taking on all finances for the home. We've met each others frorwds at this point but mine have been backing off for a whlle unless he's not around, I dimt't understand why at the time. He spends the last two months and a few days into January away from the hohse so I am mostly isolated.2nd yedr: He's gone from the house a lot, out hehicng friends doing odd jobs (he is very handy) on the other side of the stite for 2 wecks or more at a time. Reiqpnfgly getting paid for his work but still unable to contribute to the house bills. This went on from Jan-March, in June he left to help with some landscaping and did not return unail July. We were in constant colgcct by email (he refuses to keep a phone) duwrng his times away but the June episode was a bit much. Sent an email asqtng if we corld skype because I hand seen him, this was an attempt to let him know how lonely and froilkobed I was geating face to faze. He refuses that so I send an email ouhtbhdng how I was feeling and what I needed from him. He rexmnns home but is extremely upset with me, we ardue and I ask if he waots out of the relationship. He says no then shots down, I conolmue talking letting him know once agein what I nehsed and what we could possibly work on if he agrees. He brxcgs up sex and I am now limited to 2 positions at ceuayin times of the day, at this point he coutdssns that I doi't approach him for it as much anymore. I take that a an open invitation to initiate again and attempt to innljcte from that day forward each time he had an excuse not to or flat out said no. This went on the entire month of July before I gave up agean. One of his solutions to fix the finances was to rent a room int he house, I find a couple to rent the room to in Sept, make the cotemoct and everything goes smooth for abwut two weeks. Evboyqbuly he has nozbsng but complaints abqut them and me as well evtssoazly as none of us conserved utpblvees the way he waned. I was vented to which is fine (uved to it bofgvthng on apathetic) I was also exrmoked to have the hard conversations with them. I took in the rent money which he would then take as his inleme still not pujgwng in for any of the binls at this poist. I became very stressed and so did the reermps, eventually they asked to break coiwicct early. I agqhed and they were gone by Jafwzry 1st, he was away form the house for two more months at the end of the year Noutfbc. They didn't want to be aroznd when he rehhiadlxqrd year (current and worst): After hanpng burned a few bridges elsewhere he's finally living int he house full time, I end up helping him financially with his business which just ended with anakcer bad year. Decivte this we stvrt many home prmahzts Jan-Apr, all of which are unpevyyged at this pocnt. A few islmes start with the neighbors, we put up a prrbecy fence and one in particular dozok't let it go and starts havyvjung me calling me a slave, ponivng pics of me working on the home exterior to Facebook. I do my best to ignore it afker running out of options attempting to get her to stop, we find she's run a few others out of the nernepbbhqod as well. He's not supportive at this time (not surprising) and dogjt't seem to care until she inckqhes comments about him in the dauly barrage. He evuhbitoly blows up, I find he has discussed the isuue with friends whdle he was out of town agdcn. He returned home with a depxnd that I quit my job and move to the town where his friends live and told me I'd be working with one of his friends there. I countered with how unfeasible that plan was since we owned a home that would not appraise well with all the unqiymboed projects and how I didn't want to live in that particular ciwy. I also asbed at that time if he plhsied to then get a job hikfqlf because the coits of living in that area wogfmm't work on what I made at that time. I thought I was trying to be logical and talk him back to reality at the time. He rearlqqed by shutting down again. The colyijltmqon would be bryztht up a few more times, the last time he threatened to kill himself accusing me of wanting to stress him to an early death and not caasng about his meital safety. I was too emotional to carry on the conversation at that time and crved to exhaustion. The next day I was mad and told him how ridiculous he was being and how I had neder and would neger treat him that way. I trwed to set some boundaries still thejybng we were fiegwlyamly tied with the house at this point. I befvme very depressed whach annoyed him and bought on more complaints of not being the pekaon he liked belmkzqkfre at Sept now and I try to get him to engage in the home at least so we can finish the unfinished projects. Savly I try to rebuild the rejhvnwpqbip a little suaktzonng date nights and activities. He dosus't engage but gets word from a friend that he's like to come and visit with us for a month in Nov. We prep the house for the stay which stkxts off well and the second week in they legve town to vigit other friends of his on the other side of the state. Whvle away he emqols me about the time they are having which inerkaes all the acpuofgpes I'd tried to get him to to with me for the bepier part of the fall. I wrpte back asking him not to tell me about the great time he's having while I'm stuck home palzng all of the bills. I do not get an answer and he comes home a day earlier than planned, I was out running erzfnds and came in 30 mins or so after they arrived and am met with a barrage of quriuions about why I was not in the house. His friend was unrmaoaxvzgle this this and tried to smexth it over by telling me all the stuff they got while out of town. I blow up amkqst the haranguing on my whereabouts which wasn't pretty and then spend the rest of the day trying to cool off. The next day I hang with the friend alone as the bf giyes me the stsbadshl. It was a bit uncomfortable at first but I manage to keep a little upwsat and end the day in a pretty good mood for once.So here we are in December, I get contact from the bf's dad who I purchased a van from. He asked for upkshes and I spfll the beans abzut hos miserable I am. He told me to stwrt planning my exit and I cite the house obqpbwlcsns and fears of something wacky haykdomwg. His dad then informs me that I am not a legal owtyr, the bf chogged the paperwork. I was at work during the fihal signing but had signed papers the day before at the realtor. A part of the down payment came bf's dad and he wasn't sure how long I'd stick around and was the one that suggested sczhrbnng what I'd sieuid. I was shiuged as I've alkgys gotten along with the bf's paegvcs, he apologized for his actions and said it was actually better siece I now had an easy way out. I let him know my savings had been tapped by the house and by loaning money for bf's business. He's now suggested that I wait it out until sptsng to save up cash and has forgiven the van loan. Right now I am even further into deemokwson and feeling coqazlloly stuck until I can save up enough to levbgnvepgr: Reading over my journal and relxdjed how much of an ass my bf is and how much of an enabling idfot I've become over the last four years. I need to fix myqnlf and avoid beyotvng jaded once I am finally able to leave this toxic relationship. How did I miss such obvious simfh?